2012, A Year In Review

Firstly, in 2012 I was a very bad blogger, not at all regular, various reasons for this, the black dog, busy life etc….. no excuse, 2013 will be better!

So 2012, a good year band wise, I got to see Rammstein in February with my sister and Breed 77 later in the year with my girlies. Rammstein were amazing, the most entertaining show I have seen ever! The support act was Deathstars, a band who I absolutely love, and was almost as excited to see as the main act itself. Rammstein played for close to two hours, almost unheard of, particularly with a band as active on stage as these. It was clear how much they enjoyed doing live shows, their energy was like a huge living ball which drew everyone in. Oh! The pyrotechnics, phenomenal!!! I knew before going that Rammstein were big on pyro shows, but you can’t appreciate just how big they are on a YouTube video, I thought maybe they would use them for a few of their major songs, but no, every single song had something. There was a huge element of theatrics and slapstick, i laughed so much, which was very unexpected. An awesome night, I cant wait to see them again!

Breed 77 were also fantastic, having seen them before I was really excited to see them again. This time it was an acoustic set, which was absolutely beautiful. We also fell in love with one of the support bands, The Fantasist. I have to say, Breed 77, very cool, mingled with the crowd afterwards for autographs and photos.

I was lucky enough to see a relatively local band twice this year, Two Suns. I first encountered them at Graigaid,  a local festival raising funds for charity, where the troupe had been asked to perform. Despite the weather creating a mud pit to dance on and putting off potential audience, we had a fantastic time dancing. We were then lucky enough to perform with a live band, Two Suns, to their amazing rendition of ‘Feeling Good’, there is nothing like performing with a live band, it’s a total buzz. We were then asked to dance at a festival organised by Two Suns themselves, which was amazing. Again, the weather was unkind, but we all had a brilliant time.

Lastly, but not least, on the band side of thing, there was the fantastic Jessicas Ghost. My husband and I discovered this band last year, through one of our friends who is their violinist. We really enjoyed their mix of folk and rock music, some covers, some their own material. We were really lucky this year, not only did we go to one of their gigs, but we actually got to host them at our own belly dance event. I think everyone who first heard them that night fell in love with them.

And so, to the dancing of 2012, there was a lot of it, it’s already sneaked a mention in the bands bit, naughty dance 😉

I’m not going to list all the events as there is too many, but suffice to say it was a very busy year, there were festivals, carnivals and fetes, shows and much much rain!!

This year was the first year I had performed in a ballet show for nearly 15 years. Talk about a shock to the system and a blast from the past! What was truly lovely was the fact that my mum and dad came to watch, and my mum wasn’t involved in transportation, rehearsals or costume making. As a child and teenager both my sister and I did ballet, this involved classes, exams, extra classes for exams, shows, rehearsals and the dreaded costuming. My mum always sorted everything out for us and would invariably be one of the parents helping out backstage. This time it was great as she got to sit back and enjoy the show without the hassle.

I should explain, my parents are extremely supportive of my dance hobby (erm obsession really), though my mum isn’t a huge fan of belly dance, and it took a lot to win her over and convince her that it isn’t all shaking boobs in skimpy outfits, she is so supportive, bigging up the troupe I am part of to everyone she knows.

I also bought my very first pointe shoes this year, I never thought, aged 30, I would be going on pointe shoes for the first time in my life, funny where life takes you! I love it, I’d love to say it’s not as painful as it looks, but it would be a lie, it’s extremely painful, but it’s worth it.

Belly dance, lots of it, again, crazy, crazy year.

I’m going to mention the people I was lucky enough to study with this year –

Bex Fusion Dance (multiple times, I stalk her, not really, yes really…..), Alexis Southall (a very talented dancer, amazing events organiser ad all round great lady), Les Sours Tribales (an Italian troupe who were huge fun), Morgana (simply gorgeous), Cayte from Namaste Tribal, Deirdre Anaid, Vesna and Deb Rubin. All of these ladies are exceptional dancers and inspiring teachers, I feel very honoured to have studied with these people.

So, shows and events wise, here are the highlights –

Chaos Carousel & Hilde Canoodt, hosted by Alexis Southall.

Chaos Carousel are a great band and have a fantastic dance Hilde Canoodt, who is so bubbly and entertaining. It was a great night organised by Alexis Southall (she does put on a good show!).

Gothla UK – hosted by a band of cat herders and kooky goths

What can I say about Gothla, well quite a lot actually! Gothla is a weekend full of workshops, a showcase on the Friday night and an open stage on the Saturday night in Leicester. This was my third Gothla and I was so worried the magic would be starting to wear off, I didn’t know how the showcase could possibly compare to the previous years amazing show, but somehow, the Gothla fairies pulled it off. There was comedy, drama, and outright amazing performances. Fulya, Dud Muurmand, Tribe of the Honey Badgers, Mavvi, Alexis, Bex, Morgana, Belladonna, Excalibur  Dance Co but to name a few.

Here’s a few shots

Belladonna

Morgana

Dud Muurmand

Excalibur Dance Co

As I mentioned earlier, this is my third Gothla and I just want to explain why I love it so.

I had been learning belly dance for about a year before I went to my first Gothla. While I enjoyed it, belly dance hadn’t found that special place in my heart like ballet had. That changed, as soon as I did my first workshop with the lovely Tree Russell (here on known as tree fairy) I was hooked. Tree’s down to earth nature and beautiful personality banished any worries I had about not being good enough, and from then on in I was hooked.

You know you love something when you feel blue when it’s over then spend about six months getting excited for the next one, bit like Christmas, that’s what Gothla is to me. I feel in love with this dark aspect of belly dance, what it represents, the music, the people, everything, it has now become an obsession.

So with Gothla over for another year, I was getting very excited about Carpe Somnium.

Carpe Somnium (Seize the Dream) hosted by Bex Fusion Dance

This was the first event hosted by Bex and it was great. A weekend of workshops and a Saturday evening showcase. Bex had brought over the lovely Deirdre Anaid from the US of A. Dierdre taught a great Bhutto inspired workshop, which was totally different to anything I had done before. There was also a killer Bex workshop, which rocked!!

The show had some great performers –

Akasha

Bex

Deirdre

Tree Fairy

As the year headed rapidly towards winter, Autumn brought some excellent events, starting with Infusion Emporium…..

Infusion Emporium – hosted by Alexis Southall

I was so very excited about this event, Alexis hosts fantastic events, and this was the creme of the crop!

Alexis had managed to organise some excellent performers and teachers. I was particularly excited about seeing Illan Riviere, having watched some amazing footage of him on YouTube. I was also excited to be doing workshops with glam goddess Vesna Zormon and the talented Deb Rubin.

I once again roped in Sally (we do most workshops together) and we headed down to Wolverhampton for our workshops on the Friday afternoon. We loved both of them and got a lot out of them. We then headed into Wolverhampton centre for an Indian meal organised by Alexis and her husband Dan. This was so much fun, after following a very batty lady to the restaurant, nearly crashing, and various other motoring infractions (never follow Bex) we arrived at a lovely restaurant, the atmosphere was great and everyone had a fantastic night out.

The saturday night was the showcase, and what a show! Some amazing performances and collaborations!

Alexis

Deb Rubin

Illan

Autumn Leaves Hafla – hosted by………….. Us!!

This was our first ever event as The Philosophy, and, if I do say so myself, it was a resounding success. Everyone had a great time, we had great performers and the excellent Jessicas Ghost, we’ll definitely be doing another one in 2013!

The Philosophy

Lyza

So last to be highlighted, but by no means least, there was Raqs Wombourne – hosted by Karen Price

Karen was hosting Bex and Ozgen for workshops. Sally and I did, of course, the Bex one. I cannot state enough how fantastic a teacher she is, she is welcoming, encouraging, and above all kicks your ass!

The evening show was a great one, at which we performed.

Philosophy

Bex!

Karen

So, that’s enough dance highlights.

Somehow with all those events Mr L and I managed to snatch a couple of holidays.

The first holiday was to the US of A!!!!!!!

We started off in New York City for 3 nights, taking in the sights, Central Park, Grand Central Station, Rockefeller Plaza, 5th Avenue, Saks, Bloomingdale’s, Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge, High Line Park, The Financial District, Wall St, the memorial to the twin towers, Robert (a fantastic restaurant with spectacular views over Central Park) I’m sure I have missed some off here!!!

We then headed south, very south, to Fort Worth, Texas, to meet up with some good friends. We had a fantastic time, we headed to the stock yards at Stockton which was such good fun, watched a cattle drive, ate deep-fried pickles and drank root beer – yum!!! We also went to Scarborough Renaissance Fair which was a laugh, watching Americans play Englishmen, very entertaining.

It was then back up to New York City, briefly, where we hired a car and headed into the Catskills national park in New York State, via a brief foray into Connecticut by accident 🙂

The Catskills was lovely, a lot like Wales, mountains, trees, lakes and of course, rain! The rain didn’t dampen our spirits, we spent 2 nights in a log cabin, and exploring the area.

We then headed back to New York for a couple of nights before heading home.

We also managed to get away this December to Lapland. What an amazing holiday! We stayed at Hotel Saaga, in Yllasjarvi, which was a lovely hotel, roaring fire in the reception, swimming pool, jacuzzi, the works!

We had some taster sessions the first  full day we were there, mini husky ride and snowmobiling. We decided to book a snowmobiling excursion for our free day, which was two hours in a snowy wilderness, travelling over frozen streams, lakes and swamps, amazing! We also had a go at sledging for the first time in years!

We also got to meet Father Christmas and have a reindeer ride, which just added to the whole holiday…… It was a dream come true for the two of us.

On our wanders one night I am sure we stepped over into Narnia…….

And, if you didn’t think our year was quite full enough then, we also got to spend time with friends and family, and doing photo shoots.

We did some photo shoots for a talented jewellery designer who has also become our friend, Claire Ogden. These were great fun!

So, 2012, a very busy year, but bringing great rewards, making new friends and catching up with old friends, new experiences and building on previous ones….. Here’s to an awesome 2013

Please check out the links for some of the people and events mentioned in this blog –

http://www.claireogdendesigns.com/

http://www.bexbellydance.co.uk/

Home

http://www.gothla.co.uk/

http://raqswombourne.vpweb.co.uk/

http://www.anaidbellydance.com/

http://www.illan-danse.com/

Thanks for reading 🙂

Happy Boobies (or how to wear a bra properly)

I consider myself a bit of a boob expert, no, not in the same way a guy does, and not just because I have two of my own, but because my first full time job was working in the Lingerie department at Debenhams. I was in that department for 18 months and it was a very educative experience.

The biggest thing I learnt was the importance of a good fitting bra. I know, it sounds very obvious, but there is a huge percentage of the population in completely the wrong sized bras out there. So what? is probably what you are thinking…… So, the wrong sized back, commonly too big, puts all the strain of carrying your chesticles onto your shoulders. If you have been blessed in the chest department, this can cause deep dents in your shoulders, encourages round shoulders, as the weight is not being supported properly, and, regardless of size, it doesn’t help the fight against gravity.

Another common issue can be too small a cup size, resulting in the ‘four boob’ effect. This isn’t particularly attractive, and particularly in younger girls, can potentially lead to lumps and deformities. If an underwired bra is too small in the cup size, the wire can actually sit on the breast tissue which can damage the tissue, particularly if your size hasn’t regulated yet.

While sagging boobs and damaged tissue sounds very scary (and it is) help is at hand. Most department stores and larger womenswear stores have trained bra fitters on hand to help you and measure you. That’s right measure you, but before you panic, dont worry you keep your bra on, you can even keep a thin top on if you need to.

A really good bra fitter can judge your size pretty well without even wiping out a tape measure, based on your current bra size and how it fits. Needless to say, once you have your bra size it doesnt end there, different brands have slightly different sizes, some being more generous than others, just like dress sizes. There are also different bra styles, some suit much better than others. Bra buying can be a minefield of frustration, it’s best to get fitted in each new store, as the fitters will often know which style will suit you best.

Different styles give different looks, the va-va-voom wonderbra gives a good uplift, we all know that one 😉 but other styles can work better for different boob types. Yes, there are many types of boobs. Some peoples are right round the front, just like what we all think of typical boobs, but some women may find the their boobs start further round the sides. It is key when you are trying on bras to make sure that the wire doesn’t sit on the tissue at all.

Balcony bras dont give that pushed together look like you get from padded plunge bras, but the right balcony bra can still give a nice uplift. t-shirt bras do exactly that, they work well with t-shirts, giving smooth lines. Don’t dismiss a particular style of bra just because in one range it didn’t suit you, keep trying them on and take note of what it is about the style that works  (or doesn’t work) for you.

So, big deal, other than the health implications, what’s the whole hoo-haa about lingerie. Well, let me tell you a little about my love affair with lingerie……

I haven’t worked in retail for many years, and over time I started to neglect my underwear, I hadnt bought any nice new bra and pants sets in a long time, sure I had some nice ones to start off with but now they have seen better days. What I had forgotten is just how good a nice set of underwear makes you feel. Walking around with underwear on, that you know suits you, can help boost your confidence a little bit. It’s like putting on your first layer of armour before you head out into the world.

I find also, if your underwear looks good, you tend to want to do it justice, and you make that little bit more effort with your outer wear, you might add a pair of heels, or some jewellery, or a nice skirt, just something that makes you feel good. Stepping out of the door feeling good flows into how you carry yourself, there is less temptation to hunch, trying to avoid being seen, the carry yourself proud, giving off a much more positive vibe.

If you find you are going to a big meeting, interview, starting a new job or anything that might rattle your confidence a bit, start off with a good bra and pants set and build it from there, it is your armour to do battle with whatever life throws your way……

(and if clothes are your armour then mascara is your shield and red lipstick is your sword)

Black Bank Holiday

Ok, not black, but very grey, and not the 50 Shades of……

This weekend has been a washout, quite literally on Saturday, I made the mistake of putting my washing out and the skies decided to unleash their worst. While yesterday (Sunday) wasn’t too bad, today is surely making up for it.

With the sky emptying it’s bladder on North Wales it scuppered my good intentions of weeding and general outside tidying up. There was nothing else to do but give in to the lure of the TV and Labyrinth, David Bowie at his finest. Added to this there was the Bi-annual ELLE Collections calling me (along with regular ELLE and good old Marie Claire).

Having not seen Labyrinth since my early teens (think mid 90’s) i had forgotten just how much I enjoyed the film, with it’s 80’s over acting, appalling soundtrack (sorry Mr B, but it’s not your finest work) and luridly bright backdrops. Watching the goblins and other wonderful creatures, this got me thinking about puppetry and how it is becoming lost art in the TV and film industry. These days everything is CGI, and while this is indeed clever (there is nothing happier than an 80’s child watching the Transformer films) it’s a shame that the amazing puppets and their skilled owners are fast vanishing from our screens. Long live the Muppets, Fraggle rock and the Cookie Monster.

While I love fashion, magazines and the actual purchasing of, this time of year depresses me. On the one hand I cannot wait to see Prada’s latest elaborate footwear offering, the Autumn/Winter collections ram home the fact that winter is drawing ever closer. Particularly bad this year as, I don’t know about you, but I am waiting for summer still. This Bank Holiday weather has been so typical of this year that it’s all a bit depressing. Here’s hoping for a pleasant September (but I’m not holding my breath).

A bit of a blue Kittie

I have been very quiet for some time. I have been trying to wrap my head around something that happened last year, but it has been a battle, one I have not yet won.

I have very little confidence or self esteem, from a very early age. In high school I provided bullies with their fun, targeted for being tall and lanky, life was no picnic.

Having been out of school for a number of years now, I developed a smidgen of self confidence. I still couldn’t look at myself properly in a mirror, or be particularly happy with photo’s of myself, but it was work in progress. That all got wiped away last year and I have not, nor do I know how to recover from it.

A girl in her early 20’s decided that my husband was a suitable man for her, and proceeded to entice him away. In my opinion, though this girl appears to be young, bright, full of gratitude and all that sort of thing, lovely on the surface underneath lurks a cruel child.

Not being able to publicly out her for what she is has been killing me. She destroyed me, why should she not feel any repercussion for her actions?

My husband has certainly paid for it.

She has gotten away with this scot free. So I am going to out her for what I think she really is, a conniving little husband stealing bitch.

Her name is Chelsea Louise Haden, she hangs out in Liverpool, Manchester and who knows where…… She attempts to model, blog and be cutting edge. She has a blog on here, The Accidental Writer, or something like that. When you read her work, remember this, she tried to ruin my marriage.

Equality – putting pressures on relationships

Firstly, I am all for equality, I believe everyone should have equal rights and be treated fairly.

Having watched someone’s marriage fall apart, and also encountered struggles in my own, it has left me questioning whether equal rights for women has contributed to this. Before anyone convicts me as anti feminist, I’ll state now, I vote, not necessarily because I believe in a part, but because women died to give me that right. I work, I work hard at pushing myself for better and better jobs, I would not change that for the world.

By having maternity leave, flexible working and huge mortgages, women not only want to work, but have to work, rather than be stay at home mothers. My mum was a stay at home mum until my sister was in school full time, was this her choice, partly yes, but partly because child care was not as abundant.

As soon as she could she got back to work part time. The financial freedom, while not huge, gave her the option to go out and do things without being beholden to my dad. This, I think, is the key. Women are no longer rely to men to provide for them.

Marriage, partnership, any form of relationship is now a choice, not a necessity. Women no longer have to choice between family or career, we can have both. We are having our cake and eating it, and scoffing it down pretty darn quick. This is leading to other pressures though, both people working means men are finding themselves in unchartered territory…. The are boldly going where no man has gone before… The kitchen, more specifically the cleaning cupboard.

I refuse to work full time and be the sole cleaner, cook, tidier, general skivvy in the house, my husband has to do his fair share. To be fair to modern day men, it’s a total shock to their system, 2 generations ago men did not clean, even looking back at my mum and dads generation, he would rarely be involved in housework.

So, not only are men having to work out the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a steam cleaner, there is a much more psychological issue they are having to deal with…..

Women don’t need men. We don’t, we can quite easily do everything for ourselves, we can earn good money, have great jobs and thanks to Ann Summers and sperm banks, we can keep ourselves satisfied and reproduce. We have our house management skills, our money management skills and the ability to multi task. We can hire a DIY person, plumber, electrician, not necessarily men. So where is the need to find a mate? There isn’t one.

One of the main causes for relationship deterioration I see around me is men trying to control their women. Which in turn drives their women further away. We won’t put up with it and we don’t need to. Add to this the annihilation of the male stereotype, which was purported even to the early nineties, men being the bread winners and looking after their women. I am one of many couples where the man is not the main earner, I am comfortable with this, my husband is slowly getting his head round it, and trying to adjust that this is now the nornm.

So is this a pity party for men and an excuse for the to flail around, trying to control us and regain power? Hell to the N.O! Get over it, value the fact that your woman is with you because she wants you, not because she needs you. Take advantage of possibly being a stay at home husband, establishing a bond with your kids that your own father probably never managed.

In short, men, man up! Women are not going anywhere, so sharpen your elbows & prepare to battle those demons.

What’s going in my holiday handbag

In a couple of weeks I’ll be jetting off to New York, followed by Dallas Fort Worth, then heading back up to New York.

Obviously my passport & tickets & travel insurance will be going in there, but what else?

My iPod (or Pod of eye as it is more affectionately known), at least two books, we have a stop in Amsterdam so there will be alot of waiting around, also plane films? Usually they suck. My toy I have had since I was born will be coming with me, well, I couldn’t exactly leave him at home to miss out on all the fun could I! Needless to say there will be the usual wallet stuff as well.

One of the main things will be my make up and skincare, all in bottles smaller that 100ml. This is where sample sizes come in handy, or of course, the actual holiday size. If your brand does not make holiday size products, and you are all out of samples then head to Boots for some of their travel sized pots to transport your favourite stuff in.

For long haul journeys I normally take face wipes, for when the seatbelt sign has come off, that is the time to remove any dirt and/or make up. I then follow with a slathering of Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream to protect my skin, including my lips. About an hour before landing I like to get those make up wipes working again, and follow them with a swish of Simple toner. Then goes on my moisturiser of choice (I’m still trying to find the right one) followed by ELF cosmetics tinted moisturiser which just evens out my skin tone. Add some Me Me Me Lash out mascara & I am good to go. The 8 hour cream comes out again to act as a lip balm, so I can cram more into may always stuff hand luggage.

There is nothing worse than getting off a plane feeling grimy & dehydrated so I stock up in the duty free with plenty of water, that way avoiding the inevitable dehydration headache. Also in my hand luggage will be flight socks for a long haul flight, you can never be too careful. A hair brush is a must, just to neaten myself up……

This may sound high maintenance, but it’s just good sense, 7 items to keep you feeling at your best.

For short haul flights, I tend to just take the make up wipes, moisturiser, tinted moisturiser & mascara, though the 8 hour cream does go in the hold…. It is so versatile, ideal for hot climates to rehydrate your skin after a day out in the sun & ease sunburn, or it’s ideal for hitting the ski slopes, I find it protects my skin from the harsh element.

What goes in your holiday handbag……..?

31 is getting closer

With 31 not too far away I thought I’d take a look at what’s gone on in my life over the last 12 months or so.

Turning 30 was something I had dreaded for years, such a huge milestone with a long list of exceptions as to what I would have achieved by then. The only way I could face it was to have it abroad & ignore it for the most part. Small budget & the weak sterling against the euro resulted in a holiday for Mr Kittie & I to India of all places.

India……. Goa to be precise. India had never been high on the list of places to go, but then both Mr Kittie and I enjoy travelling regardless of our destination. Ridiculously I felt safe going to India, knowing I had colleagues over there (ridiculous as they were miles away in Pune), it was comforting in the run up to the holiday knowing there were people I could call on should a disaster happen.

Having read the reviews of our hotel, I was expecting the worst, the reviews had been appalling. We were, however, nicely surprised, hot water, clean linen, pleasant people, what more do you really need? yes, everything was very basic, but frankly it’s a 3rd world country with huge poverty, get a grip people. It was hot, incredibly hot, we travelled in april, the hottest time before the monsoon season, the hotel pool was pleasantly warm, I spent most of the first day in there keeping cool while Mr Kittie made friends with a fellow photographer from Mumbai.

We hired a scooter for a few days, something I would never do back home, but as we were soon finding out, India is the sort of place where you go with the flow & do the things you wouldn’t normally dream of. We became so attached to our scooter that we kept it all holiday, with its awful suspension & extremely hot plastic seat. The scooter was freedom, we bought a map, planned our routes the night before then headed out all over North Goa each day, the rush of air as we wizzed along the roads was an extra bonus.

Goa turned out to be the sort of place that is exactly what you need it to be, for Mr Kittie it got him out of his day job head funk & reminded him that there is  more out there than just being a call centre operative. For me it was my mini gap year, something I missed out on. It was total freedom, going where we wanted when we wanted & meeting amazing people along the way. We got lost, we got directions, despite the language difference, it’s amazing how far a smile and pointing to a map goes……..

I could blog forever about India & it’s wonderful people, bright colours, beautiful Hindu Temples & Roman Catholic Cathedrals. I could also bog forever about the absolute unimaginable poverty that a lot of it’s population suffer. Goa is no where near as bad as the larger cities, but you do get a glimpse of it, for me I found that as interesting as the other aspects of Goa. The people were ok with their lot, they were content, how, without a proper roof over the heads, without running water or electricity I do not know, but they were, it taught me a little about our own western excess.

It was an amazing experience, one which I will be repeating in just over 12 months time…..

So what else have I been up to in the last 12 months, I was offered a secondment to a new role in my day job, I grabbed it with both hand thank you very much. The job was a nightmare to begin with but I have now whipped it into shape & now enjoy it. I shall not bore you with more details.

There has been plenty of dancing in the last 12 months, mainly belly dance, but also a return to ballet after a gap of over 10 years. I love ballet, it’s my favourite dance form, it calms me and soothes my troubles away, I had missed it so much. Just recently the dance school put on a show in which the adult class, including Mrs Kittie, took part. It was a great opportunity, I never thought I would be nearly 31 and dancing in a ballet show. Ma & Pa Kittie also attended & thoroughly enjoyed themselves. The show was a credit to the Emily Moore School of Dance. ‘Miss Emily’ has only been running the school for just over 2 years yet has built up a huge number of pupils, a testament to her enthusiasm and excellent teaching.

 

A spot of urbexing went down a treat in the summer, roaming around an abandoned mental hospital was a very interesting experience. Originally Mr Kittie and I went alone to scout out a location for a shoot with the fabulous Gothic Bellydancer Bex Bellydance…. the spookier the better for this bat crazy (as in she’s crazy about bats) lovely. The scouting trip was fun, we found the old asylum, as recommended by one of our friends, and it was perfect. Pool Parc was originally one of the homes of the Tate & Lyle sugar family, it has since been used as a prisoner of war camp & an overflow for Denbigh mental institution. The building has been badly neglected by the current owner, in an attempt to get the building pulled down & build flats, a very great shame given it’s history.

I have a great pull towards asylums & the treatments done within, I have no idea why, but it was enough to make me want to go again to the actual shoot. We arrived, only to find that our previous entrance had been boarded up. Luckily we managed to make our way inside & continue with the shoot. A couple of friends had joined us, eager for a spot of urbexing. Firstly, I must make it clear, I do not believe in ghost, spirits etc…. However, it seemed we were not the only things put out by the recent boarding up. The atmosphere was charged with a negativity that was not present on our first trip. To start with I dismissed it as being down to the weather, which was distinctly Welsh (grey, wet, and more wet). Standing next to one of the surgeries the negativity was tangible and starting to get all our hairs standing on edge. Our friends and I heard a scream from down the corridor, it was female, the only other people there were Bex & Mr Kittie & were completely in the opposite direction to the scream. I should point out, if anyone else had arrived we would have known as the building was not large & we had been on the look out just in case.  Chalking it up to being a freak occurrence,  we continued with our exploration. Standing at the bottom of a magnificent stair case, I glimpsed a movement at the end of the corridor, to quick to be Mr Kittie or Bex, it was a figure in black, a ghost a spirit, I think so, bearing in mind, I did not believe in ghosts, or spirits, or any such thing, I could not ignore the negative vibe & strange goings on any longer, there was a definite presence there, though not a malevolent one. One of our friends also had some freaky goings on with her camera, one photo would take perfectly normal, then, without adjusting any settings the next would reverse itself and come out as a negative….. spooky goings on.

The day after our second exploration cctv was installed, and the builder moved further along with his plans for demolition of this listed building. Sadly Pool Parc is not the only building to suffer like this, Denbigh Mental hospital is in the same situation, along with many more. Urbexing is seen by many as a crime, and invariably there will be those who cause damage, but most take nothing but memories & leave nothing behind. The real crime here is what is happening to the buildings……

Autumn saw me attend the closing show of Liverpool Fashion week as Dark Soul Photography (aka Mr Kittie)’s assistant. It was a great night, I enjoyed seeing this part of his, as well as the opportunity to dress up & watch the fashion show. Liverpool fashion week is organised by Amanda Moss of Lifestyle Monthly magazine. I also attended the casting for Liverpool Fashion Week 2012, so many glam ladies all in one space was a little unnerving for a mere kittie queen, however it was a good laugh with lots of banter. The lovely people at TwentyFive Bar in Liverpool were charming hosts & enjoyable comapny, I thoroughly recommend them as a great place to hire for an event in Liverpool.

Also at TwentyFive Bar was City after Dark, an art show hosted by Kelly Hargreaves, an excellent events organiser who is responsible for hip night out ‘Lola’s Lounge’. There was an eclectic mix of artists and guests, with some unusual pieces. A very enjoyable event.

Fashion wise, I had a fantastic day out at Clothes Show Live, having not been for a few years it was great to go back & immerse myself in fashion, make up, bargains and a fun fashion show.

Last but not least, October saw the launch of Bellydance documentary Fellowship of the Weird…….. It was of mighty importance in casa Kittie, as Dark Soul Photography was responsible for the editing. Directed by Mr Kittie’s good friend & starring Mrs Kittie’s good friends, this film dominated a good 6 months of our lives, with copious amounts of night spent editing, discussing editing and drinking rum (that was the boys) gossiping, online shopping & global domination plotting (that was the girls).

Launch day dawned (finally) and took place in spectacular style. The day started with belly dance workshops, and ended with a spectacular bellydance stage show, with the best of the UK talent showcasing their skills. The documentary was well received by the audience & this Kittie was proud of mr Kittie indeed!

Some interesting links –

http://www.twentyfive.uk.com/home.html – TwentyFive bar

http://www.bexbellydance.co.uk/ the talented Bex

http://www.lifestylemonthly.co.uk/lifestylemonthly/index.php – Lifestyle Monthly, organisers of Liverpool Fashion Week

http://www.facebook.com/DarkSoulPhotography

http://www.facebook.com/jennie.freedland Jennie Freeland, Head make Up artist at Liverpool Fashion Week

http://www.fellowshipoftheweird.com/ Bellydance documentary

A plea, from a tall girl, to the High Street

While I live in grey & black clothes for the majority of the time, I do love colour, there, lurking in my wardrobe are bright pinks, blues & greens, honest. So imagine my joy, when spring wear hit the high street, pastel skinny jeans in abundance, and for the more daring, bright pink skinnies (be still my beating heart). I headed off to hit the stores with a spring in my step (pun intended) hoping to find something for a works night out later that day….

To my utter dismay it would appear that if your legs are longer than a 31-32 inch inside leg you are totally stuffed. Yours truly is a size 10-12ish (10 if I am lying to myself & lucky, 12 in most things, 5ft 10, with a 33 inch inside leg. I am tall, not freakishly so, there are a lot of us out there. The confusion started in New Look, I could not find 33 inch jeans anywhere, normally this is my go-to store as they have a range of lengths in the general section, so I headed over to the tall section, or so I thought. Unable to locate the tall section I spoke to a lovely (short) assistant, how advised that their tall range is now only available on line, pants, or in this case lack of pants.

Somewhat disgruntled I wandered over to H & M having already clocked their range of oh so funky coloured denims online. I don’t know if they were meant to be cropped or whether they only cater for the less leggy, but they stopped 2 inches short of my shoes. No funky runching at the bottom to go with my teetering gladiator style sandals for me! Gutted! They did have some bright pink leggings, slightly short in length is fine with leggings, but they weren’t funky denims.

Lastly, I headed in to Pop Art, more expensive than H&M & New Look, but desperate times forced me in. A great range of bright coloured skinnies, but guess what, that’s right, about an inch to short in leg length & 2 inches too short in body. I’m all for low rise jeans, they don’t catch on my belly button piercing, but these would have required a very intimate waxing, and who wants that just to wear some jeans???

So, back in work, no jeans, nothing to wear for the night out, the high street had let me down, two fold. Not only did I not have my coveted jeans, but I had ruined the diet on a bag of crème eggs & spent my jeans money on magazines. It seems that last minute outfits for tall people have gone the way of the dodo, along with the freedom to try clothes on before buying. From now on it’s organised shopping online & costly postage to return items, no fun of a day out shopping & playing dress up…. Thanks high street, I treated you well, funded you, laughed with you, cried with you & you have deserted me (melodramatic, moi? Nooooooo).

Please high street shops, is a 33 inch inside leg too much to ask for? Are we tall people now back to being unaccepted & abnormal? Are we destined to blow our money on crème eggs & magazines? Justin Timberlake ‘brought sexy back’, high street, bring tall clothes back…..

Love, Lust & Lies in the 21st Century…….

 

 

With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, I thought this would be an appropriate time to write about love, emotions and the wrongs and rights of following your heart. This is not something I normally write about, as it can be a very personal topic and I don’t normally do personal on here.

Drawing from my own experiences, Valentine’s Day does not fill me with the need to get all romantic and over the top and to shower my loved one with gifts. In fact, until the age of 21, I dreaded Valentine’s Day, having had no one to share it with. Has that left me disillusioned and bitter, well yes it has, though more of the former and less of the latter.

St Valentine’s Day had no romantic links originally, until Chaucer’s era. With this in mind I no longer feel quite so bad for remaining unmoved by this ‘celebration’. For many Valentine’s Day is a reminder that they are single, or are in a troubled relationship, the adverts, articles and hype can be quite painful.

What is Love?

According to the Oxford English Dictionary love is –

1. A strong feeling of affection

• a strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone

• affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one’s behalf

• a formula for ending an affectionate letter

2. A great interest and pleasure in something

3.A person or thing that one loves

So love is a strong feeling of affection, lets take that one at the top level. It explains the love we have for our family, friends, inanimate objects. A strong feeling of affection AND sexual attraction for someone, this is what we spend most of our lives looking for. The sexual attraction I think of as lust…… Oh lust, how you have plagued me, confused me and above all, excited me over the years. The Oxford English Dictionary describes lust as a ‘strong sexual desire’, so I’m not far off with my thinking then.

That teenage feeling of ‘love’ towards a celebrity, high school hottie, or even a teacher, how we moaned to our friends that we ‘loved’ that person and wanted to be with them. Actually, speaking from experience, it was lust, we might not have known it but all we actually wanted to do was jump their bones. Of course in our early teenage years, this got as far as wanting to ‘snog the face off’ someone, it wasn’t until hormones kicked in (cunningly timed with acne and any other hideous affliction that would put off our intended) that the thought of actual sex kicked in. This can happen at many different stages for different people, no right or wrong here (other than bear in mind the legal age of consent in the UK is 16).

Lust, my friend, you have never been far away. Somehow it’s socially acceptable to lust after famous people even when in a relationship, seriously, how many of us has a top 5 list of stars that we are ‘allowed’ to have sexual shenanigans with, should the opportunity ever occur. Shocking really, that if your partner turned round with a list of 5 of your friends that they wish to have ‘intimate relations’ with (did that phrase make you gag, I love it, it makes me want to vomit) you would most likely have a falling out – or throw something at them. So why do we get away with our ‘famous 5’? I honestly don’t know, maybe it’s because the likelihood of circumstances over presenting themselves is so slim that we don’t take it seriously? Ideas on the back of a postcard please…..

Lies – they enter most relationships at some point whether it’s that little white lie ‘the dog at your mars bar’ or the much bigger hurtful lies about where you were last night. Lies have the power to kill love and lust, to destroy them so badly that you feel you will never love or lust after anyone again.

The truth will set you free – don’t know who coined that phrase, but they are heading in the right direction. Often the truth can be painful, destructive and be more than we feel able to bear, but eventually the truth allows us to move on and heal. With the truth you can be hurt, but with lies, the extra deceit on top is an extra kick and is the one that can be the hardest to recover from. I speak from experience, having found myself issuing some hurtful truths and being on the end of a hideous deceit.

The internet and social media allow us to chat with people we have never met, talk online with people we do know and conduct affairs virtually and physically. So what is acceptable? Physically cheating on someone is always a no-no even in poly amorous relationships. Polygamy only works when it is with the consent of all parties, otherwise it’s just plain old cheating…. But where do we stand on virtual affairs, while the physical side may not be there, is the intention and the talking about it, and by that I mean text sex etc, as bad? To me, personally, I feel it is almost as bad. It has the power to kick you in the gut and knock you sideways.

These affairs are often hidden and discovered only through accident, rather than spoken about openly and honestly. It can take a long time to recover from something like this and even when you think you are over it, that feeling comes back to bite you on the bum cheek. Confidence is knocked and ideals are shattered. You sit there wondering how the hell it happened when you thought you were ok relationship wise. So, why do people do it, some of the reasons I have heard are, for an ego boost, to boost confidence and to rebel. Cyber sex is mainly done to boost the ego of the participants at the expense of their partners. Talking about it is almost as bad as actually doing it, because the want is there.

The implication that you are not enough for your partner so they have to go off elsewhere causes so much destruction. Trust is gone, it’s replaced by hurt, anger and desperation. It is hard to move on and get over it, and healing can take a very long time.

So what about honesty? What would be best in this situation, you feel down, someone flatters you and it goes from there. I’m not one for naval gazing but sometimes it can help. What is going wrong, or do you perceive to be going wrong in you own life, that some empty flirtation and cyber sex is going to cure? Surely a better track would be to talk to someone about it, your partner, a friend, or even a counsellor. Perhaps your partner isn’t interested in sex anymore, surely then it’s ok to look elsewhere? Er, actually, no, it really isn’t! Have that talk, painful as it may be, the alternative is far worse. It could be that your partner is too tired, stressed, lacking in confidence, by being open and honest you may actually start to resolve the struggles that 2 people are experiencing rather than one.

Having been the sexually dead person, I can honestly say the main reason was due to tiredness and being taken for granted. Treat a woman like a maid, or worse your mother, you can kill any libido she has whatsoever. Ok, you aren’t at it like the rabbits you were when you first met, but ask yourself this, how much has changed since then. Responsibilities, mortgages and housework can all kill off the passion slowly over time. Also, when you sit there ignored most of the time and are only wanted for sex, that’s a sure fire way to ensure you wont be in the mood for it. Sex needs to be built up to, foreplay and courting shouldn’t ever go away, they are very much key to a healthy sex life, and a healthy relationship. Put in a bit of effort, it pays you back in the end.

So what about physical relationships? Or even just face to face flirting? A little flirtation may not be a bad thing, but where is the line? What happens when the flirting goes further and grows into sexual attraction and potential emotions. Again, honesty is the best policy, talk to your partner about how you are feeling, work out why you are attracted to this other person. Is your current relationship dead, or heading through a rocky patch, can you fix it, or is it time to move on? Even ending a relationship, though it causes so much pain, is the better option that having an affair. It comes back to the deceit, bad enough your partner has feelings for someone else, is no longer in love with, or attracted to you, but the lies just kick you while you are down.

I found myself in this position. It was horrendous, I was attracted to someone else, the guilt was tearing me apart so much that when my partner kissed me I cried. We had a very long and honest conversation about how I was feeling and tried to look at why, I honestly told him I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with him any more, but agreed to give it time. It took over 12 months for me to come to a decision and be comfortable with my choices. I decided to stick the relationship out.

The attraction to the other person had first started in friendship, then flirting, which lead to a strong attraction, it went full circle back to friendship. The other person split with his own partner (unrelated to this) and it was during that time that I began to see him as a friend again. Wanting to be there for him and support him was actually what knocked the attraction on it’s head. Also seeing the pain he was going through made me look at my own relationship and realise that if I lost my partner I would be devastated.

I know during that time I caused my partner a lot of hurt, but the one thing that didn’t destroy us was the honesty, I dealt with how I was feeling openly and that allowed us to address the issues that had caused me to look elsewhere.

So what does this mean to all of us? Love, lust and lies in the 21^st Century is a much more perilous journey than in previous centuries. The world around us continues to shrink, thanks to the internet, smart phones and social media. Opportunities for dissatisfaction, temptation and betrayal are more frequent and much easier, there’s a downer. It’s not all doom and gloom, couples meet on the internet, long distance relationships have the potential to last longer and be less costly on the phone bill.

Love with your eyes wide open, be honest, look for the truth in how you are feeling….. above all respect each other.

xx

The Glamorous Life of a Photographer’s Assistant

Firstly I must point out I am a part time un official photographers assistant, unpaid, overworked, blah blah blah. My husband is a photographer & when I am not busy with the day job I often find myself in the role of photographer’s assistant. Being a photographer’s assistant has introduced me to models, make up artists, writers & magazine editors, I was even assistant/slave to said photographer at the closing show of Liverpool fashion Week. Sounds a bit glam, does it  not?

Erm, well, it’s actually more not, the glam.

Yes, I will concede that Liverpool  Fashion Week was indeed glam, it allowed me to don my Pucci Top & Kurt Geigers (surprisingly comfortable despite standing for hours on end). However, the rest of my duties have normally involved the outdoors, middle of winter, mud, rain & freezing cold & multiple props.

You see, Dark Soul Photography is an up and coming photographer highly regarded in the UK belly dance circles, having produced material for some of the top UK belly dancers, particularly in the Gothic arena. This means that a shoot in a studio, with plain background is totally out of the question, it just does not fit with the genre, or the dancers.

The fantastic Bex Bellydance (http://www.bexbellydance.co.uk/) booked a shoot in August, admittedly not mid winter, however this is the UK, so picture absolute torrential rain. Cue a scouting trip to an abandoned mental hospital to check out it’s suitability for a spooky shoot. The building itself was beautiful, though in a bad state of disrepair, as many are these days. The property is owned by a builder intent on making the building derelict so that he can knock it down & build flats. I wont go into my thoughts on that, other than to say it’s appalling & so very wrong.

As luck would have it, or not, the day of the shoot dawned grey & wet, as opposed to the gorgeous sunshine we had for the scouting. The weather added to the general foreboding feel of the place, a perfect atmosphere for the shoot. If I’m honest, I tagged along for the exploring more than the assisting on this one. The surgery had a particularly bad vibe to it, and there was a real sense of pain to the place. This translated into the shots & created a fantastic atmosphere.

Other belly dance shoots have taken place in abandoned quarries, ruined castles & on wild (bitterly cold) moors & in woods. Normally I am on hand with warm clothing, extra make up, make up wipes & often lacing up corsets.

Occasionally I actually am in front of the camera, which always feels a bit odd, but also is good fun, especially when you have a fab make up artist like Jennie Freeland making you look amazing.

So, the life of a photographer’s assistant, more freezing, less glam, but overall good fun & you never know where you will end up. I have volunteered to be Dark soul’s assistant at the castings for Lifestyle Monthly’s events this year, which include, Liverpool Lifestyle Awards 25th February, Wirral Fashion Festival March 23rd & of course Liverpool Fashion Week 15-20th October….. headlined by the gorgeous Sinitta…….

xx