Firstly, I am all for equality, I believe everyone should have equal rights and be treated fairly.
Having watched someone’s marriage fall apart, and also encountered struggles in my own, it has left me questioning whether equal rights for women has contributed to this. Before anyone convicts me as anti feminist, I’ll state now, I vote, not necessarily because I believe in a part, but because women died to give me that right. I work, I work hard at pushing myself for better and better jobs, I would not change that for the world.
By having maternity leave, flexible working and huge mortgages, women not only want to work, but have to work, rather than be stay at home mothers. My mum was a stay at home mum until my sister was in school full time, was this her choice, partly yes, but partly because child care was not as abundant.
As soon as she could she got back to work part time. The financial freedom, while not huge, gave her the option to go out and do things without being beholden to my dad. This, I think, is the key. Women are no longer rely to men to provide for them.
Marriage, partnership, any form of relationship is now a choice, not a necessity. Women no longer have to choice between family or career, we can have both. We are having our cake and eating it, and scoffing it down pretty darn quick. This is leading to other pressures though, both people working means men are finding themselves in unchartered territory…. The are boldly going where no man has gone before… The kitchen, more specifically the cleaning cupboard.
I refuse to work full time and be the sole cleaner, cook, tidier, general skivvy in the house, my husband has to do his fair share. To be fair to modern day men, it’s a total shock to their system, 2 generations ago men did not clean, even looking back at my mum and dads generation, he would rarely be involved in housework.
So, not only are men having to work out the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a steam cleaner, there is a much more psychological issue they are having to deal with…..
Women don’t need men. We don’t, we can quite easily do everything for ourselves, we can earn good money, have great jobs and thanks to Ann Summers and sperm banks, we can keep ourselves satisfied and reproduce. We have our house management skills, our money management skills and the ability to multi task. We can hire a DIY person, plumber, electrician, not necessarily men. So where is the need to find a mate? There isn’t one.
One of the main causes for relationship deterioration I see around me is men trying to control their women. Which in turn drives their women further away. We won’t put up with it and we don’t need to. Add to this the annihilation of the male stereotype, which was purported even to the early nineties, men being the bread winners and looking after their women. I am one of many couples where the man is not the main earner, I am comfortable with this, my husband is slowly getting his head round it, and trying to adjust that this is now the nornm.
So is this a pity party for men and an excuse for the to flail around, trying to control us and regain power? Hell to the N.O! Get over it, value the fact that your woman is with you because she wants you, not because she needs you. Take advantage of possibly being a stay at home husband, establishing a bond with your kids that your own father probably never managed.
In short, men, man up! Women are not going anywhere, so sharpen your elbows & prepare to battle those demons.
kittiequeen 